Cheap Shots and Setbacks
by MeredithBrody
Summary: Brody needs to keep the one thing that makes her feel alive. (Prody)


**So, the inspiration for this was exceptionally random, and it came from the below lyrics from the song "Cheap Shots and Setbacks" by the band As It Is. I followed AII's singer, Patty, on YouTube for years and I was so proud that he got signed... but then this happened. It took PinkAngel17 telling me it was OK to post before I did. So anyway. This is random angst/smut for our favourite crimefighters. (Oh, and just an FYI. Dear Reviewer who blocked me, I'll keep your name private, but reviewing every Prody thing with "I hate Prody" is really getting unnecessary now. Believe me. We get it. There are only three of us. We talk. We know.)  
Shin xx**

* * *

"_**We're the kids who are dead inside  
But we're the ones who feel alive  
We dream 'cause we don't sleep  
We'll never get rest but we got this"**_

Meredith Brody hadn't felt alive for many years, mostly because she had lost the other half of her. For most people their other half was a partner, a boyfriend or girlfriend. For her it had been her twin sister. So since then she had focused on what she had. Feeling dead inside was something that she had gotten used to. She didn't like it, but it was part of who she was.

There was something she did that made her feel human, that made her feel alone. She had tried using casual sex, and while it had helped for a while it didn't help for long. Now she wanted a connection with someone, and she was lucky she'd found that. He just wasn't the best for actually telling him what he liked and wanted.

On nights like this, where the weight of the combined grief and pain was too much, so she decided that it was time that she search out the one person who would get her to feel a little more alive, a little more something. She never knew how to name it.

When she arrived at her destination and got out, knowing he'd be pottering around the office, he always was when she and Chris had a day off. When he finally spotted her it was obvious that he hadn't expected her to come and see him right now. "Brody."

"I need you, King." She knew that was all she ever needed to say. She'd made sure that LaSalle wasn't there, and nobody's car but his was in the carport. That was the only time she'd come in like this and let him see her at her most vulnerable. He never failed to make her feel better, the first few times he'd just listened to her talk, then once she'd kissed him, and since then it had escalated.

He wrapped his arms around her shoulder then pulled her through the office, all the while listening to what she was saying. This was the only time she felt like she could talk about everything that worried her, and that scared her. She hated being weak, and down. She hated being this sad, broken person she'd been the last few years.

Once they reached his room he just sat her down, waiting for her to make a move, just as he always did. As soon as she turned and kissed him he was all over her. After a few weeks of doing this he knew exactly how to push her buttons. He worked her light shirt over her head, and she smiled as he did, her hands immediately dropping to his shirt, unbuttoning it and pushing it down, kissing him as she did.

She then started taking more control, dropping her hands to his belt she managed to pull it off and push his jeans down before he'd even worked his hands into her waistband. It took only a second for him to be pushing her pants and underwear down too and she echoed his movements lifting her hips to help. She could feel his smile as she kissed him, and she took the opportunity to slip her fingers into his boxers, feeling his hardness as she did.

He then wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to the bed above him, lifting a hand up and opening her bra. As she threw it away his hands drifted up her body until he was playing with her breasts. She closed her eyes as she felt him rolling her nipples between his thumb and fingers. It took everything in her not to moan just at that.

Seconds passed as she waited above him, then when she couldn't take it any more she lowered herself onto him. His hands stilled where they were massaging her, dropping down and grazing her sides lightly, she smiled as she looked at him and started moving slowly. After a moment he sat up and moved them back against the headboard. He kept his arms wrapped around her, kissing her hard as he helped her set a pace fast enough to please them both. She could feel him building faster than she was, so slipped one of her hands between them and started rubbing her clit while she kept moving, after a moment Pride took over that, and she felt herself building a little more than he was.

"God, Merri." He hissed out, and a second after that she felt him shooting into her. That was one of her favourite feelings, and was the main reason she was on the pill. She just found it really hot when her partner came inside her, she loved feeling that. As he kept shooting she finally reached the top and groaned, kissing him deeply to stop herself from screaming.

This was always exactly what she needed, and as they sunk back to the bed she nuzzled up into his chest. Feeling safe and protected. She loved that he was there, and that he was protecting her. She just needed this, because it felt so great to have a connection as strong as the one she'd had with Emily, just in a very different way. "Are you ever gonna tell me why we do this." She heard mumbled a little while later.

"Dwayne-" She started wanting to discourage him from chasing along this line of enquiry. She didn't want to have to explain everything, but she knew that time was coming. Pride wouldn't put up with her not explaining once he'd gotten something into his mind. She just wasn't sure she could talk about it.

"Meredith, you and I do this three or four times a week, and I've never figured out why." He looked at her concerned, and she wondered what his problem was. She knew how she felt about him, but she wasn't sure, any more, how to tell him or whether or not she could. "Nothing else changes. We don't talk about us." He was right.

"You want to know why I do this?" She asked, because he clearly wondered what had started her coming here, even though she talked almost all the time. Sure she'd never exactly told him in words why this mattered so much to her.

"Yeah." He replied, and she wondered if he had any idea of what he'd let himself into. She wasn't sure he was ready for this, but she was ready to tell him now. It had taken until now, but she was ready.

"Because for the first time in almost a decade you make me feel alive." She had tried other things, and none of them had worked for long. Being around him was the first thing that had.

He looked confused, and that was when she knew he'd never experienced this exact feeling. Maybe he had something similar, but never exactly. "What?"

"When we do this I feel like I'm alive. Like I'm complete." She couldn't really think of the exact words to explain how she felt, or why their nights of comfort meant so much to her, even if she never said it. "Since Emily died, it's been hard, and people keep bringing that up."

"It's just a setback, and I'm pissed at the cheap shots being levelled at you." He meant the _Moultrie_ investigation and the reopening of wounds and James return and everything that had gone on over the last 10 weeks. That wasn't what she meant.

"I don't even care about that, it doesn't matter." It did, but it didn't. She didn't care about what was thrown at her, especially not now. Once upon a time it had been important. It wasn't important anymore. She just didn't care about anything. Not one thing. Apart from him. "Most of the time I'm hiding how I feel. Dead inside."

He stopped her with a gentle kiss, not letting her continue with the thought. "Merri." He chastised her lightly, but she didn't want to keep going without telling him this. He was asking, which meant he wanted to know, and she was going to tell him.

"No, you asked and you deserve to know. I don't know how to commit, that was broken from me years ago." She had desperately wanted to commit, first to a boyfriend she'd long since forgotten, then to James. But neither of them had worked out, and other than Emily, the only person she ever felt she needed was King. "But the truth is, you are the most important person in my life."

"I don't need a commitment if that's not what you want. I just wanted to know what we were, or are." It was obvious he was asking her if she wanted more than just a quick fix, more than something that made her scream. She couldn't blame him, and the truth was that she needed him. She had realised that since this had started that she wanted him because he made her feel alive, but he made her feel alive because he was the one who listened to her.

"How about we stick with 'complicated'." That seemed to explain where they were at in their relationship right now. She didn't know what else to call them, or how else to clarify that she did want more. She just needed to work out what was going on in her head and learn how to be in a relationship again. "We can work the rest out later."

"I think I can agree to that." He smiled and kissed her again. One day she would be strong enough to actually commit to him, she knew she wanted too but she was too afraid. If he was willing to wait around for her to get her shit together then she could wait until that point, and until she knew what she'd want. He would wait for her too, she hoped.

_**I don't need your cheap shot and set backs  
****I'm fucking fine so go and take 'em all back**_


End file.
